Virtually Laid Off and Tonight
Corporate actions frequently go in the whiffing category, and so I moved over here from my usual Plan Wander blog. Here is a repost from an email I issued about 20 minutes ago which has something to do with my plan on getting blitzed tonight to not think any more about the Microsoft / Yahoo takeover bid actions on my company (yes, I work for Yahoo though don't speak in any official capacity for them), life there during the layoffs, and how much I'm going to rock open mic tonight over at Joyce is not Here (and maybe later at Peel Fresco Music Lounge where the soundproofing is a bit better and there's more G-strings to break):
Reprint:
I'm going to coin a new phrase, "virtually laid off".
FAQ:
Q: Guy, were you laid off today?
A: No.
Q: Guy, what are you going to be drinking?
A: I hear 151 is pretty good, though have no express plans in any particular direction.
Q: How drunk are you thinking of getting?
A: At present, I know my name and where I live. I intend to give both of these pieces of information up later on in the evening / tomorrow morning.
Q: Are you going out Friday night?
A: No, I will be in Shenzhen.
Q: What are you going to be doing in Shenzhen?
A: Visiting the 5th floor of Lo Wo shopping center, where I am known for being a spanish guitarista, since most people there's command of English is not very good (it's not the most common language there) yet they hear me sing Cancion de Mariachi, Mi Corazon Espinado, and La Bamba, and drew their own conclusions.
Q: Do you have a long term plan? What is "Virtually Laid Off"?
A: I wasn't actually laid off. Virtually laid off means that while the office wasn't told to specifically lose anybody at present, if they needed to, I would be first in line.
Q: Do you want to comment on that?
A: Not particularly.
Q: Do you write FAQs frequently?
A: Not at the moment, but I have been thinking of writing "Space: An idiot's guide to navigating the densest city in the world" including such features as "Don't speed up to cut people off and then slow down", "The 100% sidewalk width rule and bidirectional traffic flow", "The me first you second philosophy and how applying it might get you body checked in crowded situations", "why old people and mom's with children get special dispensations from general pedestrian traffic rules", and last but not least, "Kids: Chaotic movement attractors and general collisions". When I'm done with that, I may write "Why Yahoo is going to kill itself", though that'll be better either as a post mortem or after I am actually laid off.
Q: Are you going to happy valley tonight?
A: No, though I do support such initiatives as dreadlock combing with vivacity and vigor. I intend to sit on my computer and muse about various ideas at home until said trek on highway to hell commences.
Q: Are you sad?
A: Not particularly. More like shell shocked at confirmation of perceived future issues and not particularly in the mood to focus at the moment and look at my usual workload. I would rather write potentially useless code that examines the inside of my intestines with the Infrared Transceiver located on the side of your laptop; my boss knew that the kind of news I was getting was not exactly motivational, and granted me the dispensation of trading a half day of work today for a half day this weekend.
Reprint:
I'm going to coin a new phrase, "virtually laid off".
FAQ:
Q: Guy, were you laid off today?
A: No.
Q: Guy, what are you going to be drinking?
A: I hear 151 is pretty good, though have no express plans in any particular direction.
Q: How drunk are you thinking of getting?
A: At present, I know my name and where I live. I intend to give both of these pieces of information up later on in the evening / tomorrow morning.
Q: Are you going out Friday night?
A: No, I will be in Shenzhen.
Q: What are you going to be doing in Shenzhen?
A: Visiting the 5th floor of Lo Wo shopping center, where I am known for being a spanish guitarista, since most people there's command of English is not very good (it's not the most common language there) yet they hear me sing Cancion de Mariachi, Mi Corazon Espinado, and La Bamba, and drew their own conclusions.
Q: Do you have a long term plan? What is "Virtually Laid Off"?
A: I wasn't actually laid off. Virtually laid off means that while the office wasn't told to specifically lose anybody at present, if they needed to, I would be first in line.
Q: Do you want to comment on that?
A: Not particularly.
Q: Do you write FAQs frequently?
A: Not at the moment, but I have been thinking of writing "Space: An idiot's guide to navigating the densest city in the world" including such features as "Don't speed up to cut people off and then slow down", "The 100% sidewalk width rule and bidirectional traffic flow", "The me first you second philosophy and how applying it might get you body checked in crowded situations", "why old people and mom's with children get special dispensations from general pedestrian traffic rules", and last but not least, "Kids: Chaotic movement attractors and general collisions". When I'm done with that, I may write "Why Yahoo is going to kill itself", though that'll be better either as a post mortem or after I am actually laid off.
Q: Are you going to happy valley tonight?
A: No, though I do support such initiatives as dreadlock combing with vivacity and vigor. I intend to sit on my computer and muse about various ideas at home until said trek on highway to hell commences.
Q: Are you sad?
A: Not particularly. More like shell shocked at confirmation of perceived future issues and not particularly in the mood to focus at the moment and look at my usual workload. I would rather write potentially useless code that examines the inside of my intestines with the Infrared Transceiver located on the side of your laptop; my boss knew that the kind of news I was getting was not exactly motivational, and granted me the dispensation of trading a half day of work today for a half day this weekend.
